Four Times a Groomsman
In the past two years, I have been a groomsman four times. I estimate that I have spent over $2,500 supporting some of my best friends. Was it worth it?
-Peerless Money Mentor
Last weekend I was a groomsman in one of my closest friend’s wedding. After posting a few wedding pictures on Instagram, a friend commented, “You’re the Wedding Man!” I can definitely understand why she would say that.
Earlier this year, I was a part of the bridal party in another wedding. Two years prior to that, I was a groomsman twice in one month. In the past two years, I have been a groomsman four times. I estimate that I have spent over $2,500 supporting some of my best friend’s. What was this $2,500 spent on? Bachelor parties, wedding attire, gifts, etc.
For all four weddings, there was a bachelor party. My friend who just got married had his bachelor weekend in New Orleans (my favorite city!) during the Essence Musical Festival.
Six of us rented a room in downtown New Orleans, and we had a wonderful weekend.
The other bachelor party I attended earlier this year took place in Atlanta. We just went out a couple days before the wedding. My friends and I were able to save money by renting an Airbnb near Piedmont Park (beautiful park!).
Two years before that, I stayed one night in New Orleans for a bachelor party. The following weekend I spent the one night in Lafayette, La.
While these bachelor parties were fun, they were pricey. I had to spend money on travel, Uber, food, etc.
The next major expense I incurred while being a groomsman was the wedding attire.
Tuxedos are expensive. For the last wedding I was in, we purchased instead of renting them for $220 (When will I wear this?). The purchase included some new dress shoes, which I needed, so it wasn’t a total loss.
Prior to that, for the wedding in Atlanta, my friend’s parents gave us $100 towards the purchase of our tuxedos. But we still had to come up with the other $120 or so out of our own pockets.
For the weddings in 2016, I had to rent a tuxedo for one. The other one was a Gatsby themed wedding.
We purchased suspenders, pants, and some Chuck Taylor shoes for under $100.
In comparison to the money spent on wedding attire and bachelor parties, gifts weren’t expensive at all.
For each wedding, I try to spend at least $30-50 backs on gift cards. As I am typing this, I realize I haven’t purchased a gift for my friend who got married a couple of weeks ago (Maybe he won’t notice :-).
Since the groom usually buys gifts for his groomsman, I feel like it’s only right that I purchase a gift for the couple getting married.
Maybe I will be the one purchasing gifts for my groomsman one day…
Will I Ever be the Groom?
Ideally I would like to find a woman who does not care too much about weddings. A woman who does not believe in the fairy tale the wedding industry has tried to sell her on since birth. After sharing this idea with one of my closest friend’s, he said, “Good luck with that. I think it is impossible.”
While I think it will be difficult to find such a woman, I believe it is possible she is out there :-).
*Having the right woman by your side can help you accomplish your goals much faster in life. Read Steve’s (Think Save Retire) moving tribute to his wife! After that, read TJ’s (Half Life Theory) story about his wife supporting him during a rough period*
Was It Worth It?
At the end of the day, I believe the $2,500 I spent supporting my closest friends was worth it. I am aware of the fact that I could have used this money to improve my financial situation, but I have known these guys for over a decade. They are more like brothers to me than friends.
Whenever I need some help with something, they are usually the first ones I reach out to. I even hang out with them and their wives sometimes as the third wheel.
With that being said, if they ever decide to remarry, I’ll probably refuse to be a groomsman again. One time is enough. Besides, If they are smart, they will stick with their current wives!
Related Blog Posts
If you enjoyed reading this post, check out some of my other blog posts that are marriage related:
- Have you ever been a member of the bridal party. If so, what was your experience like?
- What are some of the benefits of being married?
- Would you ever refuse to be a groomsman for one of your closet friends?
Jerry is a Business Insider Contributing Writer who is obsessed with personal finance. He believes you can improve your financial situation by applying principles taught by the financial independence community to your financial life.
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10 thoughts on “Four Times a Groomsman”
Thanks for the shout out man, I really appreciate it! I’ve only been a groomsman a couple times, it definitely didn’t cost me quite as much, but like you, it was well worth it.
Thanks for reading and commenting, TJ!
Man, I need to find some frugal friends lol
I wish being a groomsman didn’t cost me that much, but I didn’t want to refuse to be in the weddings.
Hi Jerry – my wife and I married at Justice of the peace and the following day had a large gathering of family and friends in our back yard for BBQ and drinks. I highly recommend it.
My wife and I are both low key individuals and are not crazy about all the attention so this suited us down to a T. The financial aspect was an added bonus.
After the event, many people who had been married in the standard grandiose style, came up to us and said they wished they did the same as us and saved the money. Maybe they were just being polite, I don’t know.
The point is I think there are still plenty of ladies out there that wouldn’t mind your style of wedding. Most of the pressure comes from friends and family who want the big event, not from the couple themselves.
Hi, Your Money Blueprint!
Wow, that is awesome! You all saved a lot of money by deciding to go against the grain. Hopefully I will find someone special who is willing to do the same.
I don’t understand why some people pay so much money for an event that only last a day. I’d rather spend that money on a down payment for a home.
What did you all do for your honeymoon?
We spent a bit more coin on the honeymoon. Spent a week in Abel Tasman National Park. It’s at the top of the south island in New Zealand and we had a bach which was surrounded by wildlife, bush, tracks and beaches. Well worth it as we are an outdoor couple and were in our element.
Here’s a pic: http://www.experiencekaiteriteri.co.nz/our-reserve/abel-tasman-national-park/
Wow, that looks like paradise! Now the honeymoon, I don’t mind splurging on. I love to travel.
I’ve been a groomsman once before. The cost wasn’t exorbitant, between the bachelor’s party and the tux rental I was probably out $350. But there was no travel.
I’ve been married 10 years this year and I could not be happier.
I can’t imagine refusing to be a groomsman, at least not for money reasons. Likewise, you shouldn’t expect a huge outlay of cash from your groomsmen.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, Stephen!
$350 sounds reasonable! I spent a similar amount on the weddings that were local. It’s those darn destination weddings that will get you.
I couldn’t imagine refusing to be a groomsman either. My three best friends are all married now, so I shouldn’t have to be a groomsman again any time soon!
Looks like I may be the first lady to make a comment on this post. First, I hope you will be looking for some other qualities in your future wife other than someone who doesn’t want to spend money on a big wedding, lol. However, once you find that perfect person, if you are both on the same page, I’m sure you will find many ideas for making your wedding very special and memorable.
Thanks for stopping by, Kathy! Hahaha. Yes, I will be looking for some other qualities. Is she supportive? Do we want the same things out of life? Does she want children? Those are some starter questions.
I agree with you 100%! Have you been married before?